Instincts. They are a supernatural part of our psychology. They cannot be explained by science, yet are approved and experienced by the scientists. Consciously or unconsciously we all experience them and we let them manipulate our decisions. I was convinced about the concept that day.
From the past few days, I had been feeling that there is small lump on the right side of my neck. I usually have a tendency to ignore small cuts, lumps, pimples etc. because well I know that they will go away. But this very lump thing in my neck was somehow bothering me at the back of my mind. There was no pain, I could eat properly, it wasn’t even like tonsil. But how you know that it is something. This one day since I was too bored to stay in college and too bored to go home, I decided to kill my time by visiting the doctor in a hospital nearby. I went there merely out of boredom and also because I wanted to get rid of the thought of that lump.
There I sat outside the special department for tumors in females and somehow I was convincing myself that it was just a routine check-up and it has nothing to do with tumors.
When I was sent in the doctor’s office, I told him about this friend who is with me since months now. He examines it. And looked right through me and says “we need to run few tests though I am pretty sure it’s Tb”. “TB? You mean tuberculosis !?” I ask, to confirm. What if doctors have some different situation called as TB , what if it’s not tuberculosis . But he merely says “yes”. He asked me if I had my family down here in Bangalore and I tell him about the relatives I stay with. He asked me to take some measures which I don’t remember because I was still trying to digest the term TB. I dint know how will mom dad react; I dint know as to should I tell them yet. I wanted someone to tell me that it may be wrong. But yet I knew it somehow that is what he is saying it is. I knew what the tests were going to show. Above all, I was just too astonished that that instinct was actually right and strong and how they are always there to be with us, to guide us, to give their opinions. How this instinct tried telling me something that I would have otherwise ignored. That day and that memory is somehow printed in my mind as a testimony to the power of instincts.
It’s been a few months now since I have stopped my medication , I think I am fine now . But I still hope that this very instinct never visit me again.