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ideas over heels

for the never ending thoughts that won't let you sleep

Instincts at the back of my mind.

Instincts. They are a supernatural part of our psychology. They cannot be explained by science, yet are approved and experienced by the scientists. Consciously or unconsciously we all experience them and we let them manipulate our decisions. I was convinced about the concept that day.

From the past few days, I had been feeling that there is small lump on the right side of my neck. I usually have a tendency to ignore small cuts, lumps, pimples etc. because well I know that they will go away. But this very lump thing in my neck was somehow bothering me at the back of my mind. There was no pain, I could eat properly, it wasn’t even like tonsil. But how you know that it is something.  This one day since I was too bored to stay in college and too bored to go home, I decided to kill my time by visiting the doctor in a hospital nearby. I went there merely out of boredom and also because I wanted to get rid of the thought of that lump.

There I sat outside the special department for tumors in females and somehow I was convincing myself that it was just a routine check-up and it has nothing to do with tumors.

When I was sent in the doctor’s office, I told him about this friend who is with me since months now. He examines it. And looked right through me and says “we need to run few tests though I am pretty sure it’s Tb”.  “TB? You mean tuberculosis !?” I ask, to confirm. What if doctors have some different situation called as TB , what if it’s not tuberculosis . But he merely says “yes”. He asked me if I had my family down here in Bangalore and I tell him about the relatives I stay with.  He asked me to take some measures which I don’t remember because I was still trying to digest the term TB. I dint know how will mom dad react; I dint know as to should I tell them yet. I wanted someone to tell me that it may be wrong. But yet I knew it somehow that is what he is saying it is. I knew what the tests were going to show. Above all, I was just too astonished that that instinct was actually right and strong and how they are always there to be with us, to guide us, to give their opinions. How this instinct tried telling me something that I would have otherwise ignored. That day and that memory is somehow printed in my mind as a testimony to the power of instincts.

It’s been a few months now since I have stopped my medication , I think I am fine now . But I still hope that this very instinct never visit me again.

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Storm

When you said , ‘will you?’

I wanted to say ,’I was dying to’;

All this while , I was just wondering,

what went wrong?

how could it mean nothing to you?

but yet again you prove me wrong,

and I am so glad,

you are the storm.

Sometimes we wait outside patiently,

for now we know it will take time,

but our turn would come and it would be nothing

but perfect something.

You know I was wishing just the same

thanks for listening

oceans wouldn’t  dry up now

smiles wont die now.

Its like setting the soul free

I am free from the stabbing now

I feel like I had a bad dream,

and now its all pretty much over, the scream.

how could it mean nothing to you?

but yet again you prove me wrong,

and I am so glad,

you are the storm.

After reading Mrs Funnybones , I went BLIMEY !

“Our little satellite reached Mars because it was called MOM. If it was called DAD, it would still be circling the Earth, lost, but not willing to ask for directions.”

After a exhausted week of researching , typing , giving up , typing again and working on my Termpaper , i finally submitted it yesterday with the fine of 250 bucks. Thus as a young enthusiastic  20 year old i decided i need to celebrate this achievement.

Note 1. I specifically said achievement because my topic was ‘ Evolution of horror films’ and i was watching thrillers in the thrilling dark rainy night .

Celebration plan has to be a  fun night plan . So i decided to go through my wardrobe and find that new book i got . Mrs Funnybones was bought because i had recently read Twinkle khanna’s columns and buzzfeed would also list her tweets more than often.The next few hours were spend running around her household, from her POV  and laughing at her daft yet satirical remarks. The way of addressing her mates as ‘ Man of the house’ , ‘Prodigy son’, ‘The baby ‘ and , the best one, calling her helper as ‘ Jeeves’ was refreshing . I was laughing like a slai. I kid you not.The noticing thing was how she was so comfortable with what she is , which is bad at cooking , bad at socializing , bad at acting like a celebrity.Mrs Funnybones is just like us , scared from the past fat girl image , trying to not get annoyed by the mother , trying to adjust with the in laws , trying to multitask  and still cracking those lame , silly remarks for herself , writing for herself , smiling for her son thus for herself. As we go through her ordinary funny life , we realise even ours is as funny too. We need to find those hiccups and make puns on them and move on . We need to go Blimey at every adventure in our life.’

I am just 20 yet i have a gist of how my life will be after two decades and i know i will be laughing at my own lame jokes even then . I would do things for my family and myself too. I would be with the most funny company ,that is myself, and would not stop amusing myself.

I am an ardent ‘Standup comedy videos’ watcher and  i make a fool of myself in front of my family , laughing with my earphones on staring deep into my laptop . But yesterday for a change i was laughing hysterically while reading the book.

Note 2 :   I did make a fool of myself though.

A collection of her dairy entries , The book is a parallel way of seeing our otherwise mundane life.

 

 

 

 

 

not a legit poem

21 August , 2016

As long as it makes me content.

Opening my blog,

Checking my views.

I see this cup of coffee , i bought to lighten myself

I see myself writing all of it down ,  i want to get it all out

Away from home , missing home

I need someone who understands the best

Thus i sit here alone below this dome

After 20 years , i have come to the conclusion

The only person responsible for your mood is you

I grab my bag , set out and sit here

Sipping my Starbucks  , typing in these words using this free wi-fi

I run after these little materials as along as they make me content

I don’t even know if it’s a legit poem ,but i write it anyway

as long as this makes me content.

 

Last minute Rakhi

Untill 10 august i was sure that i wont go back to home for Rakshabandhan because

A. I just took two days off for lonavala trip ( attendance issues).You know how you decide to attend all the other days of college to compensate for that trip leave.

B. Because i dint have an off for Rakhi and i wasn’t sure if its right to spend for flight tickets just for a few days.Lets face it ,I am a student and i am 20. I have developed an ego and have matured a bit and think that i shouldn’t ask for money again and again.( I just can’t adult anymore).

C. I had submissions due on 16th  and Rakhi was on 18th.Well i am in the final year of my degree and i had decided to be punctual at least this last year .( ya right )

And then the philosophical side took over my hard-hearted brain . I realised what is the point of studying and saving money if it cannot get me happiness. Happiness for me is celebrating little occasions with my entire family and if this system couldn’t get me that then sorry but i will choose my happiness  over anything.( too childish right ? ). You understand how we come up with reasons and excuses just to get what we want . typical human behaviour eh ?

So the next moment , i called up my dad and 10 minutes later i had my tickets .

The plan was :

1. Check my attendance and make sure that i can make up for it later.

2. Manage the assignment submission issue .

3. Decide the dates .I finished my exams on 13th and the next morning i took my flight to home sweet home. The 14th and 15th were anyway holidays and i came back by 19th morning , right in time to attend college that very day.

4. Oh also , i decided to keep this visit a surprise for everyone back home and only my dad and mom knew about it.Well my dad told my mom , my mom told my sister and my sister informed my cousin and she went on telling a few about it asking them not to tell anyone else. At least 8 of them were surprised.

Trust me i am so proud of my instinct decisions and also my last-minute management skills.Travelling without any long preparation is adventure in its own way . I hit me  that how i would do anything to be with the people who love me , whom i love .How every path should lead to our own happiness and how we should try to make the most out of every moment .

 

Sparkle don’t lie

Sparkle , in those eyes ,  is  tricky

A tear drop or sheer joy

How do they talk so softly,

always to the right one directly?

without complicated words and meaning

without any diplomacy

It is fascinating to think about

the language they use,

about how they fail to lie

or caught even if they are sly

There are stories compressed

into those globes with emotions and cry

There are visions and ideas

and there is that sparkle that fails to lie.

 

 

dwelling della diary

Last week , i went for a two days getaway to Lonavala so visit the Della Adventures with my cousins.We had been playing for this trip for a long time but since we all weren’t able to decide on a single date , the plan delayed untill now. I boarded a flight from Bangalore to Mumbai where i was received by my cousin brother . There after we went to Lonavala by car where all the others had already reached.

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This trip is memorable to me for so many reasons.You know , you realise that this is the moment , at this moment you are your true self.It was one of those moments with my siblings. This trip was an only youngsters trip and we bonded like never before. It wasn’t as if we weren’t close to each other anyway but the trust and friendship level just reached a new height .Those two days passed like a wind but i still have a clear picture of each second.

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This  is  what travelling does to you . It gives you moments to look back later in you life with that small tear in your eyes. It adds textures to your bonds and your thoughts.You just need to find the right people and right energy for your journey.Travelling has always been my passion.Every goal leads to that wish to see maximum of the world. I am planning to work only so that i can save to travel.

We went to Della on the second day and it was the perfect .All the sports from the mud bike to the rocket ejector , from the 100 feet  swoop swing to gyro ,from paintball to the Asia’s highest flying fox , we finished all the rides in the extreme criteria.Not only that , it had so many engaging activities like Archery and  a few similar to  the Takeshi castle. Extremly recommended if you are into adventure sports.IMG_4356

While i was rappelling , i looked back and down to the lovely hill station and i can not describe it in words.In life problems come and go , storms come and go .Every tiny thing ends whether it is good or hellic.Your memory erases most of it but what it remembers is that few instances which just made you feel content and alive.Never exchange them with materialistic needs , never compromise with those memories.

 

The great battle

The battle will lead us to the point

point of insanity

We will conquer it all,

conquer all the ruins

It would bring all the love,

love from the dead

We will be celebrating,

celebrating all alone.

Permanent Rommates is my new favourite child

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Dear makers of Permanent Roommates,

I started watching this infamous web-series because i was up to date with the game of thrones .This was basically just a filler when i thought i needed a break from binge series watching.

FLASHBACK .When i went to my hometown for summer holidays, i heard a few of my friends talking about some permanent roommate. Been a proud parent of Game of thrones , like any other proud parent , i wouldn’t listen to some random roommate kid’s honors especially when it had an Indian origin.Thus the reference was subtly ignored.

After returning back to Bangalore , while searching for a time pass series , i decided to give this new kid a try (mind you , i tried it just to see what was the hype about and i was confident it wouldn’t be as good as to please me ).I started off at 8 30 pm with the first episode which was about 15 minutes long and to my surprise i was watching all the episodes till it was 2 am and i realized i had college to attend the next morning.The next day was spent waiting for the time when i could jump onto my bunk and continue with the next episodes

There is a certain image created about Indian TV shows .The drama to content ratio is 10:1 .The cliches also include the big protruding eyes of the negative role, the surreal honest and pure heart of the protagonist and a few deaths and rebirths here and there.Since i am among the cool youth of the country which supports the ‘Hollywood is better than Bellwood’ debate , i never thought that an Indian series could be this interesting , this modern in its approach and this logical and of course his humorous. With all the subtle sarcasms , the charming and intelligent leads , this show had won my heart along with the million others.

 

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The plot moves smoothly , the script is brilliantly written with such precise details , you can’t help but praise the smart work.The characters are Grey .It is important for Indians to realize that your significant other can not be perfect .You can not be perfect.Life is not a fairy tale , it doesn’t work like movies. There might not be a happy ending .The show seems to mock all the illogical norms of the society .It portrays people living with the modern times , living happily together , working towards adjusting with each other and most importantly it promotes humanity.

After chandler bing , Mikesh choudhary is the only guy i am smitten with and Tanu is the only fictitious character i am jealous of. While Mikesh is emotional yet head strong , Tanu has a smart practical personality. They are both relateable characters to our generation and we are in awe of them.A salute to Nidhi Singh , Sumeet Vyas , for their incredible job.I want to act all behaved and formal but man i love you guys .No seriously i love them.

I finished the two seasons in two days and i am dying to watch the next season. They were a wonderful two days and i heartily thank The Viral Fever and Biswapati Sarkar for making it special for me and million others.

*in Mikesh’s voice*

‘Cooooool’

Thank you so very much

yours ardently,

A Permanent fan.

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